


24

by sidnihoudini



Series: Fork and Knife [8]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Blow Jobs, Established Relationship, a day in the life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 18:07:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6867859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidnihoudini/pseuds/sidnihoudini
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>6:59 am</p><p>The 120 decibel alarm (Apple’s classic <i>marimba</i>) shocks them both out of sleep.</p><p>“Fuck,” Chris swears tiredly, voice rough as gravel.  His forehead is still pressed against the nape of Sebastian’s neck, eyes only half open despite the fact his heart is trying to thunder out of his chest at the sudden loud noise. “What the fuck <i>is</i> that?”</p><p>Sebastian groans, struggling across the width of the bed so he can reach his phone from the side table.  He knocks a book off the surface in the process.</p>
            </blockquote>





	24

**Author's Note:**

> So, I wrote more. Like a lot more. This is all just happening really fast guys. This is just kinda a longer version of [american pie](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6835174).

_6:59 am_

The 120 decibel alarm (Apple’s classic _marimba_ ) shocks them both out of sleep.

“Fuck,” Chris swears tiredly, voice rough as gravel. His forehead is still pressed against the nape of Sebastian’s neck, eyes only half open despite the fact his heart is trying to thunder out of his chest at the sudden loud noise. “What the fuck _is_ that?”

Sebastian groans, struggling across the width of the bed so he can reach his phone from the side table. He knocks a book off the surface in the process.

“Sorry - goddamnit,” He grumbles, eyes closed as he swipes across the touchscreen a few times until his thumb finally catches the off switch and the alarm silences. Groaning, Seb drops his phone against the mattress and then rolls over, winding one arm around Chris’ middle. “Forgot to turn off my alarm from yesterday.”

With only three hours of sleep in him, Chris’ eyes are already beginning to close drowsily.

“Yeah,” He murmurs, uncaring now that the noise has been silenced. He rests his arm around the curve of Seb’s shoulders as Seb settles close, mouth already open and back to snoring against Chris’ bare chest.

Chris slides back into sleep almost instantly.

 

_9:15 am_

With a groan, Chris rolls over and stretches out against Sebastian’s back.

“I’m still asleep,” Seb grumbles, digging into his pillow. “Get your dick away from me.”

Chris laughs tiredly and slides one hand up Seb’s abdomen. His palm skims over the warm skin there, muscular and flat.

“Can’t help it,” He sighs, sounding unapologetic as he presses his hips forward. “It’s natural. I’m too tired to move.”

Snorting a laugh, Seb teases, “Too _tired_.”

“Yeah, so you wanna get up top and help me out with this?” Chris grins, enjoying the feeling of the early morning sun stripping warmth across his bare back. He grabs at Sebastian’s flank and rolls his hips again.

Still half asleep, the only comeback Seb is able to manage is, “Yeah I’ll fuckin top you alright, you needy fuck.”

“I’m needy,” Chris wheedles, actually waking himself up now that he’s moving and talking. He opens his eyes and grins at the back of Sebastian’s head. “I _need_ you, Seb.”

Seb finally rolls over halfway, even though his eyes are still closed and half his face has a line creased into it from his pillow. He reaches up and blindly covers Chris’ face with his palm, leaving it there until Chris laughs and bites at it. Once Seb gets a reaction, he lets his hand drop to Chris’ chin, then his throat, chest, stomach, and dick.

“Go for it,” Seb amends, eyes opening just a fraction. They’re twinkling even through the cloud of sleep, alive with amusement. “I’ll make my fist real nice and tight how you like.”

Chris sighs like he’s been put out, but rubs himself up on Seb’s hand anyways since it’s right there.

“Not enough,” Chris finally murmurs, trapping Seb’s hand against his pelvis as he tightens his grip around Seb’s waist and brings them chest to chest. “Guess I’m just gonna have to fuck you twice when we wake up.”

Cackling, Seb asks, “Is that a threat? Roll me over in about three hours.”

That gets another laugh out of Chris, as he kisses the top of Seb’s head. Not even ten minutes later, they’re both back asleep.

 

_11:00 am_

Ding dong.

Ding dong.

Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding --

“Who the fuck _is_ that?” Seb groans, rolling up onto one elbow to squint at the open bedroom door. It doesn’t really answer his question.

Chris goes to reply, but cuts himself off with a yawn.

Ding dong. Ding ding ding ding ding --

“I don’t think we’re going back to sleep til tonight,” Chris sighs, trying to bury himself in his pillow.

Beside him, Seb frowns down at Chris.

“You get it,” He decides, settling back and pulling the blanket back up over his head. “It’s probably your mom. She’s the only one who knows we got back a day early.”

Chris will admit that does make sense. But…

“I’ve had a hard on since three hours ago, I’m not answering the door,” He says, and then pauses before adding, “Especially if it’s my mom.”

In a fit of sleepy rage, Seb ejects himself from the bed and leaves the room wearing only his underwear.

Chris lays in bed, waiting, and a moment later, Seb circles back for a t-shirt.

“Thanks babe,” Chris offers lamely, watching as Seb disappears back through the door again. Because it couldn’t hurt, he adds, “Love you.”

Truthfully Chris’ boner went down after he fell back to sleep; he just really doesn't want to answer the door. He feels the same way about answering doors that he does making phone calls. There’s a reason Sebastian always orders their pizza.

“Your stupid brother is here,” Seb announces a few minutes later, walking back into the bedroom to put on some real clothes.

From downstairs, Chris hears his brother yell, “Smart brother! _Smart!!_ ”

“What do you want?!” Chris yells back, already climbing out of bed. For some reason whenever he’s within his brother’s general radius, his accent comes back about ten fold. “I told you we’re not even back til tomorrow!”

Seb’s doing up the fly on yesterday’s jeans when Chris catches him for a quick kiss before they head downstairs.

“Mom told me you’re back early,” Scott calls from the front foyer. “I want breakfast!”

Alright, well. If Chris can’t spend the morning fucking Seb through the mattress, breakfast is a pretty good alternative.

“Yeah? You buying?” Chris grins, as he follows Seb out into the top hallway. He can see his brother on the floor below, a shit eating grin from ear to ear. 

Chris pulls a sweater over his head as Scott replies, “Absolutely not.”

“Alright then,” Chris amends, laughing. He tugs the sweater straight. “Give us five minutes.”

 

_11:15 am_

They take Chris’ car, mostly so he can pick Dodger up from boarding on the way home.

He’s an adult. He has personal tasks to complete that relate directly to his daily life.

As he’s thinking about how wild it is to have _house bills_ and _ongoing shopping lists_ , they drive by a new construction zone that Seb immediately zeroes in on. He asks, “What the fuck is that? That’s a goddamn eyesore.”

“Old man Stan,” Scott cracks from the backseat, cackling a bit.

Chris grins at the nickname and reaches for his sunglasses, sneaking a glance over at Seb in the meantime.

As he slides the sunglasses onto his face, he anticipates the very moment Seb is going to deny the title, and adds, “He’s not wrong, doll. You complain about traffic a lot too. Which is weird for somebody who _also_ lives in New York.”

“LA traffic is different,” Seb replies immediately, impassioned. “You can’t walk in LA! When’s the last time I drove in New York?!”

Wrinkling his nose, Scott leans forward, until he’s looking at Seb from between the two front seats over the console, and asks, “Are you one of those guys that doesn’t drive anywhere?”

“It’s car service or me!” Chris exclaims excitedly, throwing a hand up. “Car service or me!”

Seb turns slightly, and offers them both a frown.

 

_11:41 am_

Chris wants to try out a new burrito place in Burbank, which is how they end up in a booth with Chris and Sebastian on one side, and Scott in the other.

“I’m getting a breakfast platter,” Seb announces, holding the all-day breakfast menu in one hand. “I’m here to _eat_.”

Scott, nodding, says, “That’s my man.”

“They’re supposed to have good taquitos,” Chris comments, left hand holding his menu open against the table, right hand resting against the nape of Seb’s neck. “I’m pretty hungry, guys. I think I’m gonna get two things.”

Laughing, Scott raises his eyebrows, and teases in a purposely lispy voice, “Woah, let's not get crazy here.”

Chris throws his napkin at Scott, and then drops the hand from Seb’s back when the waitress comes back around to take their orders. It’s rare for anyone to notice them when they’re out in the wild like this, but having the two of them in any one spot at the same time is always potentially a recipe for disaster.

“So you’re both off the hook for a few weeks, huh?” Scott asks, after the waitress has gone to get their coffee and put their orders in. He stretches his legs out and accidentally kicks Chris’ ankles beneath the table.

Shrugging, Chris rearranges his feet, and replies, “Yeah - man, it went by fast. I have some stuff at the end of the month, but nothing like what we just finished. That shit is a march to the death.”

“Yeah,” Seb agrees easily, reaching for his water. The ice cubes clink together as he brings it up to his mouth for a sip. He pauses with the glass almost to his bottom lip, and adds, “You gotta have _stamina_.”

As he takes a sip and swallows, Scott flicks his straw wrapper across the table and adds, “That’s what she said.”

“Dude, doing interviews on an hour’s worth of sleep is dangerous,” Seb laughs, setting his glass down, trying to get it back on the same condensation ring. “You never know what kinda dumb shit is gonna come out of your mouth.”

Laughing, Scott asks, “You slip up at all?”

“Not this time,” Seb says, shaking his head. He’s thankful about that. “This guy sitting next to me can’t contain himself sometimes, though.”

“Hey!” Chris immediately exclaims, defending himself. “I didn’t say _anything_ bad.”

“You get jazzy,” Scott nods, immediately understanding. Seb nods too. “You get excited and some of that flamboyancy we all love comes _right_ out.”

“Don’t come for me,” Chris warns, joking. He points one finger at Scott as the waitress comes back with three fresh mugs of coffee and a thing of cream and sugar.

Scott’s laughing as he replies, “I’ll come for you. I’ll snatch your wig off.”

 

_1:03 pm_

“Oh, god. I ate way too much,” Chris complains, as Dodger goes skidding across the foyer hardwood floors.

One step behind him, Seb juggles the two bags of rudimentary groceries they picked up, and kicks the front door closed with a grunt.

“Even I was surprised when you packed both those plates away,” Seb says, dropping the grocery bags on the side table so he can toe his shoes off, and laugh at the way Dodger goes skittering across the floor for his bone, still sitting in the exact same place he last had it.

Chris is a little disoriented from the food coma, and staggers away from Seb as Seb goes into the kitchen to put the groceries away. 

Instead of following him, Chris makes his way towards the living room and its associated comfort.

He falls into the couch immediately, body flopping over the arm, and groans as he bounces back against the cushions. On the rug in front of him, Dodger wags his tail but doesn’t stop gnawing against the side of his bone.

“I was so hungry,” Chris says to nobody in particular, a little sad. Dodger’s tail slaps against the carpet again, one ear perking in Chris’ direction to listen. Eyes closed, Chris extends one arm and adds, “Thanks buddy.”

Chris drifts with his eyes closed, listening to the sound of Seb putting the groceries away in the other room, dropping shit on the floor by accident and swearing before he jams it back into the cupboard or fridge.

With a smile on his face, Chris manages to get himself turned around, so he’s facing the ceiling instead of the couch cushions.

If someone force fed him one more taquito he would definitely puke. Groaning, Chris drags the front hem of his t-shirt up, and looks down at the way his stomach is slightly rounded from the mass quantity of breakfast foods he consumed.

Seb walks back into the living room a few minutes later, and starts laughing at the way Chris is stretched miserably over the couch. With a grin on his face he walks up to the end of the couch, and then rests one knee against its arm.

“You regret that last plate of chorizo yet?” Seb laughs, putting his weight on one knee and bracing himself against the back of the couch with one hand so he can lean over Chris’ legs a little bit.

Groaning still, Chris shakes his head and manages a, “No,” and then, slightly delayed and still a little out of breath from gluttony, “Got your sausage here.”

“No thanks,” Seb laughs, but crawls on top of Chris anyways, stretching out against him from shoulder to hip. He digs his elbows into the spaces below Chris’ armpits, and stares down into his face. “You’re _sweating_.”

With a laugh, Chris admits, “I might puke with you on my stomach.”

“Gross,” Seb grimaces, but leans down for a kiss anyways. Then he yawns right in Chris’ face, salsa verde breath and all, and lays down to use Chris’ pec as a pillow. “Wake me up in an hour.”

That’s not gonna happen. Chris knows it. Seb knows it. Anyone who has ever dared try to wake Sebastian up from a nap knows it.

“Sure babe,” Chris grimaces as he shifts, trying to disperse Seb’s weight over the parts of his body that aren’t his stomach. Seb is not exactly a light dude. Once he’s situated a bit more, he blindly pets at the side of Seb’s head with one floppy hand.

After consuming that mountain of food, a nap is actually not the worst idea he’s ever heard.

 

_1:34 pm_

You know, or not.

Chris is so full that his body completely revolts against the idea of letting him fall asleep.

Instead, Chris slowly wedges himself out from beneath Seb’s body, wiggling until he’s free enough to end up on his hands and knees. Because of his sudden appearance on the floor, Dodger is happy to alternate between getting in his face and trying to sit on him.

Laughing and trying to shove the dog away, Chris manages to get himself up off the floor, and then turns around to make sure Seb didn’t land in a weird position in the process.

Seb is face down against the couch cushions, his mouth wide open, soft and slack against the upholstery. His eyes are closed, but the one closest to the couch is stretched into a thin straight line, pulled tight from falling against the cushion.

Chris laughs again, pauses to take a picture with his phone, and then heads for the treadmill.

 

_3:15 pm_

Sebastian is awake and reluctantly checking his emails when Chris gets out of the shower.

“Hey,” Chris greets, pressing his shower warmed chest up against Seb from behind. He wraps his arms around Seb loosely, and rests his chin against the spot where Seb’s neck joins his shoulder. “You woke up.”

With a groan, Seb stretches his arms up, and wraps both around the back of Chris’ neck and shoulders.

“Dodger woke me up. And, more importantly, your mother is sending me emails,” Seb says, running his hands over Chris’ shoulders as Chris dips his head down to press a kiss behind Sebastian’s ear. “I don’t know how she got my email address, but she’s planning Christmas.”

Frowning, Chris pauses, and then replies, “It’s May.”

“I know,” Seb intones.

Laughing, Chris slides his hands up the front of Seb’s t-shirt, and promises, “I’ll call her later.”

Seb makes a noise of agreement and then tilts backwards again, dragging his fingers through the hair on the back of Chris’ head to tug them closer together. When Chris is within striking distance they kiss, a little upside down but still hot.

“I have to answer these emails,” Seb murmurs, speaking mostly into Chris’ mouth. He doesn’t let up the grip he has on Chris’ hair. “But stay there.”

Grinning, Chris bites at Seb’s bottom lip, and promises, “Deal.”

Seb manages to get through the four emails from his manager, and then two from his publicist. The hardest to answer are the five still waiting from various friends and family members, but he diligently types out a reply to each and sends them off. The latest response he gets out is about four weeks overdue - which isn’t bad, comparatively.

He refuses to get Facebook, so old man emails will just have to do.

The whole time Chris stays pressed up against his back, which is distracting, but also an effective method of inspiration to finish quickly.

“I’m gonna let the dog out,” Chris murmurs, watching the screen as Seb sends off his last reply. “And then I’m gonna suck you off in this chair.”

Seb lets out an involuntary noise and replies, “Fuck, deal.”

 

_3:18 pm_

Dodger is happy to hang out in the mid-afternoon sun, so Chris leaves him to it on the back porch.

He props the glass doors open to let a little air in, and then steps out onto the deck to peer around the side of the house and make sure the gate is closed.

By the time he gets back to the desk he refers to as The Office, Seb is clicking something with the mouse one-handed as the other tries to get his fly down and pants off.

“Work’s over,” Chris announces, pulling Seb away from the keyboard by the back of the rolly chair. He spins him around, and feels his gut tighten at the way Seb is grinning up at him.

Raising an eyebrow, Seb says, “I was looking for some naughty background music.”

“Don’t need it,” Chris promises, resting his forehead against Seb’s shoulder so he can look down and watch as Seb unbuttons and unzips his jeans. He pushes them down just enough to see the underwear he’s wearing underneath; the same ones Chris practically ate him out in after one particularly inspiring promo tour stop.

Laughing, Seb pushes up to get his jeans further down his thighs, and then drops his hands to either side of the chair.

He is _fully_ aware of how much Chris enjoys getting him out of his underwear.

“Fuck, yeah,” Chris manages, cutting himself off to lean down and kiss and suck down Seb’s abdomen instead. He doesn’t stop until he reaches the soft patch of skin just above Seb’s waistband, mouths into the hair there. “I’m gonna make you come so fuckin hard.”

Leaning back against the chair, Seb raises his eyebrows and rests a palm on Chris’ head.

The pointed expression on Seb’s face is enough to make Chris grin again. He ducks down low to mouth Seb through the thin fabric of his underwear, groaning a little under his breath when he imagines what’s waiting for him underneath.

He’s working with a semi, but it doesn’t take Seb very long to groan deeply and then drop his head back against the chair back rest, hips pushing up against Chris’ mouth.

“Ugh you’re killing me,” Seb moans, rolling his head from side to side lazily. His eyes feel drowsy, and he lets them close and then open again as he looks up at the ceiling with a glazed expression on his face. “Chris, ah.”

Chris grins, pulling back and settling on his knees long enough to tug Seb’s underwear down and off. He groans a little when he sees more of that sweet fucking tanned skin exposed, and finds himself unable to stop when he leans in to suck a wet patch into the skin over the joint of Seb’s hip and leg.

Seb’s thigh muscle tightens immediately; Chris feels it tense beneath his throat, and it makes him grin, gaze rolling up to watch Seb’s reaction. 

When Seb just bites his bottom lip and watches what Chris is gonna do next, Chris wraps one hand around Seb’s cock and then starts up a slow rhythm. He enjoys the way Seb swears under his breath and pumps up into Chris’ tight fist.

“Yeah babe,” Chris murmurs, opening his mouth and leaning forward.

He teases Seb, letting the head of Seb’s cock touch between his lips without taking it any deeper, hand still steadily wrapped around the base.

Seb grunts and tries to widen his legs further. He pushes his knees up, tippy toes against the floor as his ass slides lower in the chair, dick smacking against Chris’ face.

With a smile, Chris finally takes pity and sucks his way down the side of Seb’s cock, mouthing at the base before he pulls back and then sinks all the way down, eyes closed with a groan in the back of his throat. 

He fucking loves giving head. He lives for it. A cock in his mouth is about as good as it gets, aside from a cold beer and a Patriots game on the TV.

Combine all three, and you’ve got Chris’ version of heaven wrapped up in a bow.

Moaning around the feeling of Seb thick in his mouth, Chris sets up a relentless rhythm, no longer interested in just teasing. Seb realizes what’s happening and grunts, lets his hips jerk up, pelvis bumping against Chris’ chin. Chris lets him, too, the palms of both hands sliding down to cup the back of Seb’s thighs, encouraging him to thrust.

On one particularly energetic thrust Chris dips down and lets himself choke a little, groaning around the flood of spit and the string of dirty words Seb launches into in return.

Pulling back, Chris tries to contain some of the spit, but it’s really a lost cause. It’s covering Seb’s thighs, his dick, and Chris’ hands.

Chris leans back in, licking at the head of Seb’s cock, enjoying the taste there. Seb groans again and reaches for himself, wrapping a hand around the base of his cock so he can direct it back into Chris’ mouth.

And, well - you don’t have to ask Chris twice. He smiles up at Seb, knows his cheeks are flushed as he wraps one hand over Seb’s own, groaning a little in the back of his throat as he starts sliding their hands up and down.

With Chris’ free hand he gets his own pants down to his thighs, manages to push them off just enough to jerk himself, too. He grunts into Seb’s cock when he gets a particularly pleasurable wave of heat from grinding down into his own hand.

“Gonna come on your face,” Seb manages to get out.

He knocks Chris’ hand away and jerks himself off even faster, breathing coming heavy now, hips thrusting up off of the chair and into his own hand. Chris groans and leans forward, trying to angle the head of Seb’s dick into his mouth on every upstroke.

Licking his lips, Chris steadies himself with one hand against Seb’s knee as he continues to jerk himself off, tightening on the upstroke just how he likes.

After that it doesn’t take very long to come, first Seb and then Chris. Chris just can’t hold on any longer when the visual of Seb’s stomach muscles, clenching and rolling from his orgasm, parse through Chris’ brain.

“Ugh, fuck,” Chris swears, balancing heavily against Seb’s thigh. He looks at the ground between his knees and manages to explain, a little out of breath, “Come all over the floor.”

Seb grunts, completely non-verbal, and reaches forward to thumb some of his own come off of Chris’ cheek and into his mouth. Chris accepts without hesitation, sucking on Seb’s thumb and laughing when Seb goes back for more.

 

_5:48 pm_

“I think I’m gonna grill something,” Chris assesses, half bent over in front of the fridge.

He’s already working on a beer, which is delicious. The sun is just beginning to set, which has left the backyard bathed in golden light - the kind he wouldn’t mind laying in for a couple hours, watching the sky fade from light to dark.

Dodger is still hanging out in the backyard, happy to be home after two more weeks spent boarding with professional strangers.

Seb looks up from where he’s flipping through a book at the kitchen table, and agrees, “I could eat some steak, man. I got some sirloin.”

“ _Yeah_ you do,” Chris replies off-handedly, already pulling things out of the fridge.

Smiling, Seb flops his book closed and then stretches himself out in the kitchen chair, still a little travel sleepy but otherwise sated from a relaxing day. He yawns, crosses his bare feet at the ankles, and watches Chris as he moves around the kitchen getting things ready for dinner.

“What the hell are we gonna do for two weeks?” Seb asks rhetorically, kind of amused as he watches Chris fret over seasonings. “I feel like I should be doing something already.”

Chris shakes his head, comes to an agreement with himself, and sets a bottle of the seasoning he’s chosen against the counter.

“We _relax_ , like normal people,” Chris grins, talking over his shoulder before he reaches up to pull two dinner plates out of the cupboard. “Hey, we’ll watch a movie. I haven’t watched someone else’s movie since awards season.”

Frowning in agreement, Seb nods once, and then hauls himself to his feet.

“I’ll cut the vegetables up,” He says, heading towards the pile of kale and tomatoes already sitting at the edge of the counter.

Chris hands him a cutting board and they get to it, working quietly, shoulder to shoulder.

 

_5:55 pm_

Sebastian cracks into his first beer and Chris’ second out on the deck.

A few feet away Chris is manning the grill, frowning into the smoke and fanning one hand back and forth as he cranks the lid open to drop their steaks onto the grill.

Dodger brings his tennis ball back to Seb and drops it at his feet, so Seb takes a momentary break from bartending to launch it back across the yard. As Dodger runs down the wooden stairs and across the grass to catch up with his ball, Seb turns back in Chris’ direction and crosses the deck to set Chris’ beer at the side of the grill.

“Thanks doll,” Chris says automatically, taking a step back so he can frown down at the dials and lower the heat. He reaches for his beer without looking, holding it to his chest as he checks the temperature twice more and then leaves the grill to it.

A few feet away, Seb drops into one of the loungers they bought a few months ago but haven’t been home long enough to use yet, and laughs when Dodger immediately trots over and tries to climb up onto his chest.

“Get your ball - go, buddy, ball,” Seb manages, holding his beer out of Dodger’s nosing range until Chris can swing by and snag it from him, leaving Seb to scratch the dog’s neck with both hands.

It doesn’t take Dodger very long to climb up and settle on top of him, stretched out over Seb’s stomach with his paws poked up against his chest.

Laughing, Chris leans over, and sets Dodger’s ball between his paws.

“Is that bad?” Chris asks, dropping down into the other lounger with a contented sigh. He hands Seb’s beer back. “I feel like that’s bad but I think it’s really kinda cute.”

Seb shrugs, one hand still combing through Dodger’s fur. He takes a sip of his beer and then says, “He’s needy. Just like you. Two souls traveling through time, desperate to climb into my lap.”

“That’s not true!” Chris laughs, stretching one arm up over the back of the lounger as he looks over at Seb with narrowed eyes and says, “I’m well adjusted.”

Laughing, Seb closes his eyes and cackles so much he doesn’t even notice when Chris steals the beer right out of his hand.

“I’m gonna fuck you up,” Chris adds, holding Seb’s beer just out of reach. “Now what?”

Seb struggles for the beer can, laughing even more when he tries to stretch his arm out without dislodging Dodger, who is completely content to shake and move with Seb as Seb rolls himself to the side.

After a few minutes of struggling that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, or moving towards any kind of conclusion, Chris manages to stumble to his feet even while laughing helplessly and double fisting two cans of beer.

Seb is still reaching aimlessly for his beer, only half trying, when Chris pushes up on his tiptoes and angles his hips forward, managing to thrust his junk in the direction of Seb’s hand on the first try.

Really any kind of dick joke will make Sebastian laugh, but the expression on Chris’ face - twisted with concentration while trying to hit the right angle - and the struggle sounds he’s making to keep himself up on his toes really set Seb over the edge. Seb cracks up laughing, managing to do nothing more than get a grip on Chris’ fly, at least ensuring he won’t be able to dance away again.

With his free hand, Seb reaches upwards and manages to snag Chris’ beer by the bottom of the can. Even though it isn’t the greatest tactical maneuver, he still manages to tap the can _just enough_ to compromise Chris’ grip.

“Hey! That one’s mine,” Chris laughs, taking a proper step forward as Seb lets go of his jeans and flops back into the lounger, one hand now resting triumphantly on Dodger’s head as the other brings the can of beer to his lips. “That’s my first one!”

After taking a long sip, Seb ‘ahhs’ and tilts his head back against the lounger cushion.

“Success makes it taste even better than mine did,” Seb lies. Honestly this one is flat and gross because Chris started drinking it forty minutes ago.

He’d never tell Chris that, though.

 

_6:10 pm_

Seb likes his steak still bloody, so Chris peels his off the grill first.

“You are fucked up,” Chris says, not for the first time in their relationship.

They eat out on the deck, each of them at either end of the glass deck dining table, relaxed in the shoulders and content as they watch the sun set purple over the Hollywood Hills.

“Ugh, that was good,” Seb announces, dropping his napkin onto the bare plate.

 

_7:01 pm_

“I don’t know how to work this fucking remote,” Chris bitches, hunched over the coffee table as he tries to open the video on demand menu. He sounds like a seventy year old man who’s never left the deep side of Boston.

Seb drops into the couch next to him and reaches for the remote, uncaring as Chris makes a noise of protest.

“I wanna watch something funny,” Seb announces, opening up the VOD menu with one push of the button. They’ve only recently managed to get through the Oscar screener DVDs they both got a copy of last year; aside from that, Seb doesn’t remember the last time he watched a movie that wasn’t Civil War.

Chris is over his ongoing fight with the remote, and now fully engrossed with the options presented on the TV in front of them. He makes an ‘oooooh’ noise, and then says, “Peanuts.”

“Fuck off,” Seb laughs, clicking right past that. “You can watch that with your brother. Spy?”

Seb is feeling something trashy, yet palatable.

“Ehhhhh,” Chris frowns. “How about Sisters? It’s got uh… that guy from Mindy Project.”

That guy is pretty funny. Seb clicks over to it, and says, “Tina Fey is fucking insufferable, but sure. I’ll watch it for that guy and Amy Poehler.”

“You have such a crush on Amy Poehler!” Chris exclaims, settling back into the couch.

It’s not entirely wrong, but Seb still feels the need to defend himself. He says, “She’s funny.”

“And _single_ ,” Chris adds, elbowing him a little bit.

Snorting, Seb shoves his arm away and replies, “Oh yeah, cause I’m into single women with two kids.”

“If you’re going to be sarcastic, you could have just stopped after ‘women’,” Chris murmurs, reaching up to pet Sebastian’s hair kindly.

Seb narrows his eyes at Chris and says, “Alright, I’m getting Amy’s number.”

“Ahh,” Chris laughs, wrapping his arms around Seb with a pathetic little, “Don’t leave me.”

“Try me,” Seb replies, even though one hand is already coming up to palm at the back of Chris’ skull. Seb clicks to order the movie, and then settles further back into Chris’ body and the couch. “God I love TV.”

Still wrapped happily around Seb’s torso, Chris rests his ear against Seb’s pec, and watches as the movie’s studio bumpers roll through. He grunts a little when Seb tries to adjust, breaking their embrace, but allows Seb the movement he needs to get comfortable before tightening his grip again.

By the time Seb is done moving around, they’re both laying down on the couch, with Chris between Sebastian’s opened legs, head rested back against his chest.

“You weigh a fucking ton,” Seb intones, but there’s a certain fondness in his voice that Chris can’t miss.

Chris shrugs a little and replies, “Ten pound cock.”

That makes Seb cackle with laughter. He throws his head back against the pillows and covers his face with one hand as he laughs, which is enough to crack Chris up as well. One little known fact about Chris Evans: he swears more than anyone Sebastian has ever met. Like, ever. He’s also got a particularly on the nose talent for dirty jokes, usually revolving around his dick.

“That seems like a conservative estimate,” Seb finally replies, which makes Chris laugh again. He brings one hand up to cover Seb’s mouth.

Chris pushes his fingers into Seb’s mouth when Seb tries to lick him, and replies, “Amy Poehler.”

 

_9:30 pm_

They watch the movie and then an hour of football replays, which Seb dozes through.

“Alright, I’m fucking falling asleep now too,” Chris finally swears, leaning forward to grab the remote and turn the TV off. “Let’s go to bed.”

Agreeing with a stretch and a moan, Seb pets Chris’ shoulder, and then watches as Chris climbs up off the couch awkwardly, trying not to knee Seb in the dick in the process.

They already brought everything from dinner in from the deck, so all there is left to do is let the dog out and hit the lights. Sebastian trails up to bed first, hitting nonessential lights along the way. He also pauses to check the security system before he staggers upstairs.

Chris stands in the kitchen doorframe, watching as Dodger sniffs around outside for the perfect spot to pee. The dog gets distracted often, pausing to stare up at a moth flickering around the lamp, but eventually he trails back up from the stairs that lead down to the grass with a happy doggy grin on his face.

“Bed,” Chris sighs, mostly to himself but also the dog. He rubs both hands over his face as he toes the door closed behind the both of them, and then turns around to lock it.

Dodger takes off upstairs without waiting for him, leaving Chris to check everything’s off for the night before he climbs the stairs too, resigned to an early bedtime.

By the time he gets to their bedroom, Seb is already sitting on his side of the bed, feet planted on the ground as he looks down at his phone. Dodger’s up on the foot of the bed, guiltily wagging his tail when he sees Chris enter and catch him.

“Hey,” Chris says, before pointing to Dodger’s dog bed on the ground.

Dodger goes willingly, but slides off the bed slowly, first his front legs and then his back. He wags his tail as he approaches his bed, and then spins and settles into the comfortable cushion, tucking his nose alongside his butt.

“You forgot to call your mother,” Seb reminds, not looking up from his phone.

Chris makes a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat and moves towards the attached bathroom to brush his teeth.

“I’ll call her in the morning,” He shrugs, flipping the overhead lights on.

Seb yawns and Chris listens as he gets himself ready for bed: plugging his phone in to charge, throwing his clothes in the laundry basket, switching off his bedside lamp.

By the time Chris is done brushing his teeth, Seb is actually in bed with the blanket pulled up to his ears, already half asleep. Chris tugs his side of the bed clothes back and then takes his shirt and jeans off. As an afterthought he loses his underwear too, mostly because he refuses to sleep naked in hotel sheets and wouldn’t mind a night of luxury.

He’s gonna have to catch up on laundry tomorrow. His luggage is still sitting unpacked beside the front door, and contains about three weeks worth of dirty clothes.

“Ugh, yeah, get in here,” Seb mumbles, not opening his eyes as Chris gets settled underneath the blankets, shifting around until he can get a leg in-between Seb’s and a loose arm around his waist.

Yawning, Chris presses a half-assed kiss against Seb’s bottom lip, and then drops his own head back against the pillows. If he gets a proper sleep tonight, he should be back to normal by tomorrow morning.

“Night doll,” He murmurs, laughing when he gets a garbled, half asleep response from Seb in return.

**Author's Note:**

> I know nobody in this fandom! Come [say hi on tumblr](http://sidnihoudini.tumblr.com) if you wanna talk more about these two fucks or send me a fic prompt.
> 
> Also, I would love to hear any feedback or comments you may have <3


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